it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
