I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
