yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
