i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
