Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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