Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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