that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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