No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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