My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
