oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
