..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
