So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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