i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
