Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
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