i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
