carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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