No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
only if we run a train.
done.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
