Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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