You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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