your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I have peed in a lot of sinks
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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