hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
