Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Randomize
