This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
