You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
She swung at the pinata with crutches
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
