Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
