Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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