do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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