Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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