so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
