im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
