a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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