I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
