Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
