there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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