are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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