I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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