Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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