btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
