okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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