Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
