Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
