I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
