epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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