You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
