Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
