You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
