GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
