she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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