mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
