420 ftw
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
