Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
