and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I deserve this hangover.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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